Looking different from those around us can sometimes make us feel different on the inside, too. This may impact our confidence, making us feel shy, whākama, embarrassed, or unsure of ourselves.
Let’s dive into what it means to “look different,” how it impacts our self-esteem, and explore ways to build confidence and feel more comfortable in ourselves.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO 'LOOK DIFFERENT'?
There are many reasons why someone might look different, they can include:
Being born with unique features: Some people naturally have distinct facial or body features right from birth.
Birthmarks or skin differences: You might have a birthmark or skin that’s not the same color all over.
Scars or burns: past injuries or accidents can leave visible marks.
Changes from illness or surgery: medical conditions or procedures can sometimes alter a person’s appearance.
FEELING DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS
Looking different can sometimes make you feel like you don’t quite fit in. But everyone has their own uniqueness! No two people are exactly alike, and that’s what makes each of us special. While you may have things in common with your friends and whānau, you also have your own unique interests and experiences that make you who you are.
HOW APPEARANCE AND CONFIDENCE ARE CONNECTED
Confidence means feeling good about yourself and your abilities. However, looking different can sometimes make you feel less sure of yourself, especially if you worry about how others might react. This might lead to shyness or avoiding new people for fear of being stared at or treated unkindly.
Additionally, your condition may make certain activities, like sports or PE, more challenging, which can also impact your confidence.
WAYS TO BOOST YOUR CONFIDENCE
Deal with unkind reactions
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When people stare or say mean things it can be hard to feel confident.
How to handle it: If someone is repeatedly mean to you, talk to a trusted adult, like a parent or teacher. You can also practice responding calmly to stares or comments – try saying, “Do you have a question?” This can help you take control of the situation.
Overcome comparisons
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It’s natural to notice how others look and wish you looked the same.
How to shift your focus: Everyone is unique, with their own strengths. Try writing down three things you like about yourself each day. This simple habit can help you appreciate your own qualities instead of comparing yourself to others.
Recognise your strengths
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When confidence is low, it’s easy to focus on what you don’t like about yourself.
How to see yourself more positively: Think about the things you do like about yourself. If you’re unsure, ask a friend or whānau member what they appreciate about you. Hearing their perspective can help you recognise your own strengths.
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Build connections
You might worry your appearance will prevent people from wanting to be your friend.
How to reassure yourself: friendships are based on who you are, not how you look. Make a list of qualities that make you a great friend – like being kind, funny, or a good listener. Remind yourself of these whenever you’re feeling unsure.
WHAT IF I'M REALLY STRUGGLING?
If you’re feeling very unhappy, avoiding people, having trouble sleeping, or feeling really down about yourself, it’s important to ask for help.
What you can do: talk to someone you trust, like a parent, caregiver, or teacher. They can support you and help you find the right resources to cope. Remember, you are not alone – you don’t have to go through this by yourself.